S#!t Startups Say…

This year, Skaled has been working around fifteen different startups, as well as building our own small company. There are certain nuances about startup culture that quickly become evident when you enter the world of entrepreneurs working their asses off to create something innovative and successful. I’ve begun collecting quotes that most every startup seems to utter at some point in the process — including us. Some of them reveal the awesomeness of the startup culture — some, not so much. But I have a feeling all of them will sound familiar…

 

“Of course we have whiskey Fridays.”

Because we’re startups, and we can. 

“We really need someone to own this project. F*&! it, let’s find some interns.” 

Startups rely heavily on interns. Sometimes this is a good idea. Other times it’s a lazy avoidance of the tasks we hate — either way, interns regularly save our asses. 

 

Startup Interview:

Candidate: “I really want to work at a place where my voice can be heard.”

Interviewer: “Ok, what is that voice and how do you want to use it?”

Candidate: “I’m open to anything and really want to work at a startup, so I’ll do whatever it takes.”

Translation: “I hate my job at “Stuffy Corporation”. Please let me in to magical startup land!”

 

Every NYC Startup:

“Of course New York is better. Why? Because it’s New York.”

We totally agree with this one, by the way.

 

Every San Francisco startup:

“New York has startups?? Does Foursquare still count?”

Pshhhh.

 

Person 1: “We really need a new salesperson.”

Person 2: “Can’t we just promote the marketing intern? They went to Harvard — I’m sure they can figure it out…Harvard bro.”

No. Not everyone can do sales. Stop pretending they can. 

 

First time CEO…

“Why is forecasting so hard?!”

It just is. Get used to it, kids! 

 

VP of Sales: “We REALLY need this to close. Like, we have to.”

Salesperson: “Don’t we need everything to close…?”

Duh.

 

“Have you seen that dude with the Google Glass??”

We all have. And we all secretly want one. 

 

“We track social media to help you optimize and monetize your campaigns!!!!”

(Speaking of which, follow us on Facebook and Twitter!) 

Do you have one to add? Let’s hear it!

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